Christianity has some fairly simple guidelines for sexual behaviour – much easier to navigate than the maze of modern morals.
If you are married, you are obligated to have sexual relations with your spouse (except for brief and specific periods of prayer and fasting which have been mutually agreed upon).
If you are unmarried, sexual activity is forbidden.
While there are those who would try to paint this as a sort of ‘holiness’, it is really quite practical, and based in sound psychology that benefits the individual, the couple, and society.
Today, let us speak of sex outside marriage. *We will leave out the arguments concerning STDs and out-of-wedlock births, as they are so obvious and so well known as to need no further exposition here.)
Sexuality invokes both the body and the soul, and has the potential, even at brief exposure, to completely change a relationship. A casual friendship which becomes sexual can never return to its previous state, and someone is probably going to get hurt along the new path.
Modern thinkers will point to this, and say that we have not yet been well-indoctrinated – we should treat sex as a base physical appetite, and partake to slake that appetite, with no repercussions.
This can be done; I have spoken with those for whom sex is essentially meaningless outside a momentary enjoyment.
However, they have lost the capacity to enjoy a physical relationship on a deeper basis. Those that have married speak of a dissociation from their spouse, and a sense of dissatisfaction at being limited to one partner.
One hates to use the term perverted…but this is a way to pervert the sexual gift that God has given us.
The ban on sex outside marriage is not meant to take away ‘fun’. It is intended to protect individuals from sorrow, and from the destruction of a unique physical bonding that can and should best be enjoyed exclusively in marriage.